Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude i'm inner monologue high
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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