this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize