Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
