I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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