omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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