I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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