I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
