I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
