There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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