I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize