Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He better not be in your backpack
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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