I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
