I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
