you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
