Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
