I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
