This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
