sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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