I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize