google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
