ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize