Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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