everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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