just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
