Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
