do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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