shes about as inviting as chlamydia
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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