Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
