i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
