Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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