Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just saw a hot homeless man
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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