i jhust puked up my retainher.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't think brook has ever known best
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
