every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
