My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
