Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
