u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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