he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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