DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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