They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have aggressive nipples.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
