I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am in a vortex of obligation.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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