i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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