You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Acid is not a monday night drug
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize