I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
