Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
