what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
