no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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