Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
