He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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