Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
