you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
