U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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