Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize