i just had sex bonerless
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
