You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
