im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
