But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
