Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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