We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We had to coat check the pizza.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
