yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
