Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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