Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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