Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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