You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
