it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
