dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
