I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
